Quit these pretentious things and just punch the clock

Another year, another 12 months of mindless self-indulgence. And by that I mean wasting money on myself, not the band, nor anything hedonistic.

With 2012 looming I can’t help but start to chalk up where the heck all that not-so-disposable income went. I’m a reasonably frugal person, and I live a relatively boring life, but I’ve still thrown too many coins at too many distractions. While I can’t claim to have a rich and rewarding selection of interests and hobbies I do have a few. I’m equally rubbish at them all, of course, but that’s a given.

This was the year that the dream was almost over in terms of playing football regularly after a spiral of apathy and natural wastage decimated my team. As strange as it may sound I enjoy playing far more than I probably should. Although I have the desire and determination to play, and to win, of a professional I combine it with the technical ability of someone a third of my age. It’d be nice to be twice as good but only half as bothered, as many of my teammates are, but it’s only one of a considerably long list of lots in life I just have to accept.

Thankfully come the tail-end of the year salvation was found in playing 5-a-side indoor. It’s an entirely different ball game, and a bit soulless in comparison, but at least I’m still playing. Unfortunately it comes at a far higher price than grass, which came in at very little.

MMXI perhaps marks the end of my numerous misadventures into photography, only a bazillion underwhelming photos in. I’ve no more (non-instant) film cameras and I expect to have no more Polaroid cameras soon enough. The day had to come eventually.

I’ve become very selective in my gaming spend having long since sold the majority of my collection, along with my continuing resistance to getting a 360 and PS3. I do not feel the hunger to keep up with the latest and greatest titles. The only new, full price games I’ve bought this year were Zelda games. I did, however, throw caution to the wind and get the 3DS at launch. Try as I might I can’t help that I have Nintendo and Sega wired into my brain. I might even have Alex Kidd in Miracle World built-in. This said I intend to avoid the Wii U… at launch anyway.

Everton? As a fan of any team you always hope better times are ahead but it’s clear we’re now firmly within a period of readjustment, to put it mildly. In a game ruled by money we hit the glass ceiling and have now arguably fallen off the ladder as key players have left without replacement, let alone improvements to other weaknesses in the team. The next few seasons are looking increasingly like a case of rebuilding with relatively meagre resources as the bulk of the squad is slowly broken up. Unfortunately the performances on the pitch in the meantime are unlikely to be easy on the eyes or the blood pressure. None of this matters though. Getting a season ticket will always be non-negotiable while I can afford it.

I do have to thank my lucky stars that I have the option to ponder what I frivolously spend on myself but austerity measures must ensue eventually. By continuing to reduce my stuff footprint I’ll be looking to have a neutral or negative spend on hobbies in 2012.

A more resolute man would squirrel away every non-essential penny but I honestly believe I already operate far beyond most people’s humdrum threshold. If all work and no play makes Jack a dull boy I’d shudder to think what it’d make me.

Eleven

Post-it notes rarely stick to anything for long. Okay, obviously they’re meant to be temporary but even so they do have a habit of falling off most flat surfaces with ease. And I’m talking the real deal here – genuine Post-its, not an imitation brand.

I have, however, managed to get one to stick for almost five years. It has clung protruding from under the border of my monitor since 2007 despite hundreds of it’s brethren having long lost their will to stick in the same area within days of their placement. I haven’t reapplied any pressure to it, provided it with adhesive-enhancing supplements, or tampered with it in any way after it’s original application. It’s just stayed there defiantly refusing to budge.

So why I have I not simply removed it? I certainly didn’t intend for it to be there this long. And, I’m not that lazy… well, not too lazy to remove a Post-it note that is in my eye-line perhaps 6 hours of every day.

I’ve let it be because the message scrawled on it’s light yellow paper is as applicable now as it was then. By having resisted dropping off this long it appears fated to mock me; the relevance despite so much time having passed only serving to underline it’s point.

But what the devil does it say?

The message on it reads ‘STOP WASTING TIME!’. Simple but straight to the point. When I put it up it wasn’t meant to be a long-term life target; it was a prompt to get me to knuckle down on a piece of work I was doing instead of finding distractions.

It’s fair to say that five years of being reminded hasn’t exactly worked wonders. I’m probably as aimless now as I’ve ever been. And if you know me, or of me, you’ll recognise that is no simple feat. But let’s not go there.

I could have posted a thousand things on here in that time. I’m not suggesting that they would have been in any way interesting or insightful, or read by anyone at all, but they’d have still been a far better use of my time.

Will 2012 be any different? No promises. Every year I like to pretend to myself that I will rediscover the joys of typing a load of complete nonsense for the world to potentially see but I’m usually too preoccupied with speaking it to anyone within earshot to try.

Instead I am to make that bloody Post-it note eat it’s words – or at least not have to look at it so often. It’s not a case of a embracing a purposeful, fulfilling, and enlightening existence. That would require a sea change so vast it would require the waves from Deep Impact. No, just to spend considerably less of my waking hours staring at screens would be an achievement.

She & Him - In The Sun (2010)

Healthier Anzac

Anzac biscuits are ace! The combination of oats, syrup, and coconut make them highly dunkable and highly addictive.

For no apparent reason, excusing the potential of having twice as many as usual, I made some that are butter-free and refined sugar-low.

But alas, cutting the crap comes with a trade-off. They crumble more easily and certainly do not maintain structural cohesion as well when immersed in tea.

Work in progress then on that front, but still nourish as long as you eat them faster than they can fall apart.

Ingredients

• 100g Jumbo Oats
• 100g Plain Flour
• 50g Desiccated Coconut
• 25g Sunflower Seeds
• 25g Pumpkin Seeds
• 4 tbsp Light Olive Oil
• 1 tbsp Honey
• 1 tbsp Golden Syrup
• 1 tsp Bicarbonate of Soda
• 2 tbsp Boiling Water

Method

• Pre-heat oven to 130 c. Prepare two baking trays.
• In a small bowl add the bicarbonate of soda to the boiling water.
• Mix in the olive oil, honey, and syrup.
• In another bowl mix together the dry ingredients.
• Pour the wet stuff into the dry and stir until fully combined.
• Spoon two tablespoons worth of the mix into a small circular cutter (I used 5cm wide) placed on the backing tray.
• Squash down with a spoon or silicone spatula until densely packed then remove the cutter.
• Repeat leaving an inch between each instance. There should be enough mix for 18.
• Place in oven on the lowest shelf for 20 minutes. They will brown quickly but resist removing them too early.
• Once fully cooled place in an air-tight container and refrigerate to improve solidity.

Naked Date and Cashew Cake

Cashews because I was all out of walnuts. Dates because they’re awesome. They may not be typical cakey bedfellows but they taste fine to me.

This works best as a tray bake rather than a full-blown cake. With my brownie tray I can cut 24 slices that are the right balance between a modest tea snack but also make Mr Kippling look a bit stingy.

This was/is a Waitrose recipe but although I’ve followed it to the word in the past on this occasion I dropped most of the sugar, syrup, butter, and eliminated the icing altogether (thus the nakedness). I personally don’t miss it.

Ingredients

• 200g Dates, chopped.
• 50g Cashew Nuts, chopped.
• 150ml Hot Water.
• 60g Butter, softened.
• 50g Light Brown Sugar.
• 1 tbsp Golden Syrup
• 3 Medium Eggs
• 200g Plain Flour
• 1½ tsp Baking Powder
• 1 tsp Ground Cinnamon

Method

• Pre-heat oven to 180°c. Line or grease your tin or tray of choice.
• Chop the dates, place in a bowl and cover with the hot water to soften things up.
• In a big bowl beat the butter and sugar together, then add the spoonful o’ syrup.
• In another bowl sieve the flour, baking powder, and cinnamon together.
• Stir in a third of the dry ingredients followed by an egg to the butter and sugar mix. Repeat in turn until everything is combined.
• Whack in the dates. No need to drain them, keep it sloppy! Finally, mix in the cashew nuts.
• Plop into your pan/tray, level, and place in oven. Let the magic happen for just shy of 30 minutes. Remove. Cool. Cut. Eat.